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10月31日
60 Years After The Second World War
Please read the little cartoon carefully, it's powerful. Then read the comments at the end, and please - forward it! We cannot, we must not, ever forget what happened in Europe over 60 years ago, because it could happen again. Anyone, any group, could be the target. It has been said that those who refuse to study history are doomed to repeat it. In this case, those who are attempting to rewrite history are probably planning to repeat it! The hatred is already there, in place, taught to the children from infancy, with promises of glory and honor to those who carry out the plans. Forewarned is forearmed, and I'm doing my small part by forwarding this message. I hope you'll do the same.
In Memoriam
It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended. This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the six million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and humiliated with the German and Russian peoples looking the other way!
Now, more than ever, with Iran, among others, claiming the Holocaust to be "a myth," it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets, because there are others who would like to do it again.
The Islamic extremists are bent on the same thing that Hitler and Stalin were. The conquest of the world and the destruction of anyone who doesn't believe the way they do. The rest of the Muslims who say or do nothing about them are as guilty as the extremist.
 Join us and be a link in the memorial chain and help us distribute it around the world. COPY THIS AND EMAIL TO YOUR FRIENDS....THANK YOU
10月30日 Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6am. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet(MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE INMEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with GAS from Saud i Arabia and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer (Made In Malaysia)(with tech support in INDIA ), Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE! IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE! France !!) and turned on his TV(MADE IN INDONESIA ), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in.. AMERICA ..... 10月26日
Islamic hell-torture chamber for unbelievers
In this article we shall describe the Islamic Hell which was an imagination of Prophet Mohammad used primarily for two reasons:
1.To have a torture chamber for all the unblievers (unbelievers and people of other religions)
2.To terrorize people into accepting Islam.
The purpose of Hell in Islam is not to punish the Muslim wrong-doers. Because, for them Mohammad will recommend paradise, beautiful virgins and young boys in the Day of Judgment. His recommendation is final and Allah cannot deny it. It is available to all murderers, rapists, arsonists, cheats, thugs, pickpockets and pimps provided they are following Islam. On the contrary, a flaming Hell is reserved only for all Zoroastrianian, Hindus, Sikhs, Jews and Christians, no matter how pious and God-fearing they may have been.
The below section deals with the brutal instructions Prophet Mohammad gives to his followers about unblievers and how to torture and murder them ruthlessly.
Instructions to Muslims about Unbelievers:
[at-Taubah 9:29]
Fight those who do not profess the true faith (Islam) till
they pay the jiziya (poll tax) with the hand of humility.
So here Prophet Mohammad is instructing a true Muslim to fight people of other religions until the unbelievers debase themselves and pay tax for their existence. So the greatness of Islam is revealed only when follwers of other religions are humiliated.
[al-Anfal 8:12]
Remember Thy Lord inspired the angels (with the message):
"I am with you: give firmness to the believers, I will instill
terror into the hearts of the unbelievers, Smite ye above their
necks and smite all their finger tips of them."
Here Mohammad is giving step by step instruction on how to torture and kill unblievers if they don't follow Islam.
[at-Taubah 9:5]
"Then, when the sacred months have passed, slay the idolators
wherever ye find them, and take them (captive), and besiege
them and prepare for them each ambush. But if they repent and
establish worship and pay the poor-due, then leave their way
free. Lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful."
In the above verse Prophet Mohammad is clearly instructing his followers to kill the idolators in any brutal way possible until the idolators submit themselves to Islam. Allah is indeed merciful !!
[at-Taubah 9:73]
Prophet, make war on the unbelievers and the hypocrites and
deal rigorously with them. Hell shall be their Home: an evil
fate.
Here Mohammad is trying to justify his brutal acts. He conveniently claims divine justification for the expression of his hatred by saying Allah himself revealed to him personally that people of other religions are evil and belong in Hell. Therefore, according to Mohammad any barbaric act against the unbelievers is completely justified.
[an-Nisa' 4:144]
Believers, do not choose the unbelievers rather than the
faithful as your friends. Would you give Allah a clear
proof against yourselves ?
This verse clearly states that a Muslim can only befreind a Muslim. Mohammad in order to ensure that his followers will not befriend and get influenced by people of other religions, revealed this verse. This verse illustrates that if a Muslim befriends a Non-Muslim than the wrath of Allah will be on him. Therefore in Islam, people of other religions should be treated with contempt,disrespect and cruelty.
[Muhammad 47:4]
When you meet the unbelievers in the Jihad strike off their heads
and, when you have laid them low, bind your captives firmly.
Then grant them their freedom or take ransom from them, until
War shall lay down her burdens.
In the above verse, Mohammad is giving detailed instruction about how to maim and torture unbelievers in Jihad. And finally when the Muslims are satisfied enough after torturing and maiming the unbelievers, they should proceed to demand ransom for the captives. All for the sake for all-merciful Allah !!
[al-Ma'idah 5:33-34]
The only reward of those who make war upon Allah and His
messenger and strive after corruption in the land will be
that they will be killed or crucified, or have their hands
and feet and alternate sides cut off, or will be expelled
out of the land. Such will be their degradation in the world,
and in the Hereafter theirs will be an awful doom; Save those
who repent before ye overpower them. For know that Allah is
Forgiving, merciful.
In this verse, Mohammad devises another recipe for torturing unbelievers. This particular recipe involves chopping off alternate limbs and expelling the unbelievers (people following other religions) out of the land.
Article was offerd by Satyameva Jayate (TRUTH ALONE TRIUMPHS)
I got a email that mention about Sharria law and started to follow up when I found this article on a different link. After reading it, I being an American would never go for this. I defended our country and will continue until my last breath. | 10月25日
This one is a little different.
Two Different Versions! Two Different Morals!
OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote. 10月24日
The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
13. Think about this ... No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some fun out of life,
and pass it on to other folk. 10月23日
October 22, 2007
Spencer: The Muslim Letter to the Pope
The Vatican responded Friday to the open letter sent at the end of Ramadan by 138 Muslim scholars to Pope Benedict XVI and a wide array of other Christian leaders. The response was somewhat deflating, given the mainstream media’s enthusiasm over the Muslim letter -- an enthusiasm which the senders must have anticipated. Noting the Muslim scholars’ declaration that “the future of the world depends on peace between Muslims and Christians,” the Telegraph‘s headline was typical of the coverage: “Muslim scholars’ olive branch to Christians.” Reuters burbled about an “Unprecedented Muslim call for peace with Christians.” But was it really?
This week’s response from Cardinal Jean-Louis Tauran, the President of the Vatican’s Pontifical Council for Interreligious Dialogue, hardly seemed sporting. Tauran observed that the possibility of serious dialogue between Muslims and Christians was limited by the traditional Islamic understanding of the Muslim holy book: “Muslims,” he said, “do not accept that one can discuss the Koran in depth, because they say it was written by dictation from God. With such an absolute interpretation, it is difficult to discuss the contents of faith.”
Tauran went on to call for reciprocity between the treatment of Christians in Islamic lands and the treatment of Muslims in the West, decrying the fact that Muslims are permitted to build mosques freely in Europe, but Christians face difficulties or outright bans when trying to build churches in Muslim lands. “In a dialogue among believers, it is fundamental to say what is good for one is good for the other.”
But that presumes an equality of religions, and that one can admit the legitimacy of the other. And that is the element missing from the proposed debate.
On the basis of the letter alone, it’s surprising that there has ever been conflict between Muslims and Christians, or Muslims and anyone. The scholars say: “in obedience to the Holy Qur’an, we as Muslims invite Christians to come together with us on the basis of what is common to us, which is also what is most essential to our faith and practice: the Two Commandments of love.” Yet the “Two Commandments of love” were nowhere in evidence last August when an Egyptian convert from Islam to Christianity was sentenced to death by Islamic clerics. “The Two Commandments of love” have not saved Christians in Baghdad, where Islamic gangs knocked on doors in Christian neighborhoods, demanding payment of the jizya tax specified for non-Muslims by the Qur’an (9:29). Nor is Iraq the only problem area: in Egypt, Coptic Christians have suffered discrimination and harassment for centuries, and their plight is increasing. In Pakistan a prominent Catholic priest said in August 2007 that Christians are frequently denied equality of rights with Muslims and subjected to various forms of discrimination.
The persecution of Christians is the primary indication of the letter’s inadequacy as the basis for any real dialogue between Muslims and Christians. Genuine dialogue must focus, or at least be cognizant of, the reality of what separates the two parties. Nothing can be resolved, no genuine peace or harmony attained, except on the basis of confronting those differences.
While saying they want to build on common ground, the Muslim scholars (amid copious Qur’an quotes) never mention Qur’an 5:17, which says that those who believe in the divinity of Christ are unbelievers, or 4:171, which says that Jesus was not crucified, or 9:30, which says that those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God are accursed, or 9:29, which mandates warfare against and the subjugation of Jews and Christians. It seems reasonable to suggest that verses like these would need to be addressed in some way, even if only to give them some benign interpretation, if there is to be any true and honest dialogue.
The media enthusiasm for this letter is, at best, premature. We may hope that Muslim scholars will someday address Muslim persecution of Christians and offer a non-literal interpretation of the Christianophobic passages in the Qur’an. Then there will be a basis for genuine dialogue. But they haven’t done it yet.
Posted by Robert at October 22, 2007 8:22 AM
October 22, 2007
Pope Islamophobe I: Religion must never be used to promote hatred and violence, declares Pope Benedict
Will the Islamic response to this be more hatred and violence in the name of their religion?
"Religion must never be used to promote hatred and violence, declares Pope Benedict," from CNA (thanks to JJD):
Naples, Oct 21, 2007 / 12:23 pm (CNA).- After celebrating an outdoor Mass at the Piazza del Plebiscito in Naples, the Pope met with Jewish, Muslim, Orthodox and Protestant leaders as well as the presidents of numerous African and Latin American countries and some Nobel Peace laureates. He reminded the assembled leaders that religions must never be exploited to promote hatred and violence....
Addressing the religious leaders, Pope Benedict said, “Faced with a world torn by conflict, where the name of God is still used to justify violence, it is important to reiterate that religions must never be exploited to promote hatred and violence.” Rather, “religions can and must offer precious resources for the peaceful future of humanity.”
The Holy Father affirmed that the Catholic Church is committed to pursuing peace through dialogue. “The Catholic Church intends to continue follow the path of dialogue to encourage understanding between different cultures and religious traditions.” The Pope prayed that this spirit of dialogue, which was begun by Pope John Paul II at the first gathering for peace in Assisi, “will be spread especially in those areas of the world where tensions prevail, freedoms are denied, and where men and woman suffer the consequences of intolerance and incomprehension.”
Posted by Robert at October 22, 2007 9:23 AM
10月22日
Subject: Fw: Good Funnies....
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex,
marriage, and values......
Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married,
Did you? "
Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?"
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did
all of my intelligence come from?"
The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from
your mother, cause I still have mine"
"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce
Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every
now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself,"
A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said,
"I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook
and really good with the kids.
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove
a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact
words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man
and wife."
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long
it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute.."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him
how he is feeling.
"I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used
in surgery," he aswered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS!"
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a
display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty
pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought
my husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one.
10月21日 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses On And Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries With That.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't Use Any Punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order A Diet Water Whenever You Go Out To Eat, With A Serious Face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-Through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-Workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......
10月20日
A Cowboy Named Fred
A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across
three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this,
he whispered to the cowboy,
"Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The cowboy groaned but didn't budge.
The usher became more impatient.
"Sir, if you don't get up from there
I'm going to have to get the manager."
Once again, the cowboy just groaned.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle,
and in a moment he returned with the manager.
Together the two of them tried repeatedly
to move the cowboy, but with no success.
Finally they summoned the police.
The Texas Ranger arrived and surveyed
the situation briefly and then asked,
"All right buddy, what's your name?"
"Fred," the cowboy moaned.
"Where ya from, Fred?" asked the Ranger.
With terrible pain in his voice,
and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, ....
"The balcony...."
Gotta Love This Nurse
A highway patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed
appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well.
However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch.
Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told
him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up
enough so
he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of
adhesive tape, the kind that takes everything with it when you pull
it off.
Written in large red letters across the tape was the sentence:
Get well quick..... From the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dogs at
Wal-Mart and was about to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I
didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.
Although
I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time,
but
that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one
or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food
poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish
Setter's
ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!
Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore!!!
There was once a sheep farmer who needed help with the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male sheep to keep them from breeding with the females. He hired a French guy who didn't speak much English, but was a very good worker.
After the first day, they had successfully castrated 14 sheep and his French worker was just about to throw away the "parts", but the sheep farmer yelled, "No! Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them. They're delicious and we call them 'sheep fries'."
Later that day, the French hired hand came in for supper, and indeed the 'sheep fries' were tasty.
The next day, they castrated 16 sheep, and the following evening they all settled down to another supper of 'sheep fries'.
The third day, however, when the sheep farmer came home, he asked his wife where the French hired hand was, and she said, "You know, it's the weirdest thing! I told him since there weren't very many 'sheep fries' this evening, we were also going to have French fries, and he ran like crazy.
10月19日
At The
ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, November 30, 2007
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To Make Ice Cubes--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics..
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation, and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
10月16日 Why "TAPS" is played..
If any of you have ever been to a military funeral in which taps
were played;
this brings out a new meaning of it.
Here is something Every North American should know........
We in the North America have all heard the haunting song, "Taps".
It's the song that gives us that lump in our throats and usually tears in
our eyes.
But, do you know the story behind the song? If not, I think you
will be interested to find out about its humble beginnings.
Reportedly, it all began in 1862 during the Civil War, when Union
Army Captain Robert Ellicombe was with his men near Harrison's Landing in
Virginia. The Confederate Army was on the other side of the narrow strip
of land.
During the night, Captain Ellicombe heard the moans of a soldier
who lay severely wounded on the field. Not knowing if it was a Union or
Confederate soldier, the Captain decided to risk his life and bring the
stricken man back for medical attention.
Crawling
on his stomach through the gunfire, the Captain reached
the stricken soldier and began pulling him toward his encampment.
When the Captain finally reached his own lines, he discovered it
was actually a Confederate soldier, but the soldier was dead
The Captain lit a lantern and suddenly caught his breath and went
numb with shock. In the dim light, he saw the face of the soldier. It was
his own son. The boy had been studying music in the South when the war
broke out. Without telling his father, the boy enlisted in the Confederate
Army.
The following morning, heartbroken, the father asked permission of
his superiors to give his son a full military burial, despite his enemy
status. His request was only partially granted.
The Captain had asked if he could have a group of Army band members
play a funeral dirge for his son at the funeral. The request was turned
down since
the soldier was a Confederate. But, out of respect for the
father, they did say they could give him only one musician.
The Captain chose a bugler. He asked the bugler to play a series
of musical notes he had found on a piece of paper in the pocket of the dead
youth's uniform. This wish was granted.
The haunting melody, we now know as "Taps" used at military
funerals was born.
The words are:
Day is done ... Gone the sun
From the lakes ... From the hills ...
From the sky . All is well.
Safely rest .. God is nigh.
Fading light .. Dims the sight ..
And a star ... Gems the sky
Gleaming bright From afar ..
Drawing nigh . Falls the night.
Thanks and praise ... For our days .
Neath the sun ... Neath the stars...
Neath the sky . As we go
This we know .. God is nigh
I, too, have felt the chills while listening to "Taps" but I have
never seen all the words to the song until now. I didn't even know there
was more than one verse. I also never knew the story behind the song and I
didn't know if you had either so I thought I'd pass it along.
I now have an even deeper respect for the song than I did before.
REMEMBER OUR SAILORS AND SOLDIERS. 10月13日
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Way to go, Bill!!!
"They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor
with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living. People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we've got these nuckleheads walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what ? ?
And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was 2 ? ?
Where were you when he was 12 ? ?
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol ? ?
And where is the father ? ? Or who is his father ?
People putting their clothes on backward: Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something ?
Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up ?
Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from??
We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail.
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back.
People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.
We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.
We cannot blame the white people any longer."
Dr. William Henry "Bill" Cosby, Jr., Ed.D. |
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| 10月11日
Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses On And
Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want
Fries With That.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has
Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling
Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't Use Any Punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order A Diet Water Whenever You Go Out To Eat, With A Serious Face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-Through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-Workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling
"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......
Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile
> >> >> 10月8日
Interesting tips on gasoline.
I've been in petroleum pipeline business for about 31 years, currently working for the Kinder-Morgan Pipeline here in San Jose, CA. We deliver about 4 million gallons in a 24-hour period from the pipe line; one day it's diesel, the next day it's jet fuel and gasoline. We have 34 storage tanks here with a total capacity of 16,800,000 gallons. Here are some tricks to help you get your money's worth.
1. Fill up your car or truck in the morning when the temperature is still cool. Remember that all service stations have their storage tanks buried below ground; and the colder the ground, the denser the gasoline. When it gets warmer gasoline expands, so if you're filling up in the afternoon or in the evening, what should be a gallon is not exactly a gallon. In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and temperature of the fuel (gasoline, diesel, jet fuel, ethanol and other petroleum products) are significant. Every truckload that we load is temperature-compensated so that the indicated gallonage is actually the amount pumped. A one-degree rise in temperature is a big deal for businesses, but service stations don't have temperature compensation at their pumps.
2. If a tanker truck is filling the station's tank at the time you want to buy gas, do not fill up; most likely dirt and sludge in the tank is being stirred up when gas is being delivered, and you might be transferring that dirt from the bottom of their tank into your car's tank.
3. Fill up when your gas tank is half-full (or half-empty), because the more gas you have in your tank the less air there is and gasoline evaporates rapidly, especially when it's warm. (Gasoline storage tanks have an internal floating 'roof' membrane to act as a barrier between the gas and the atmosphere, thereby minimizing evaporation . )
4. If you look at the trigger you'll see that it has three delivery settings: slow, medium and high. When you're filling up do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to the high setting. You should be pumping at the slow setting, thereby minimizing vapors created while you are pumping. Hoses at the pump are corrugated; the corrugations act as a return path for vapor recovery - from gas that already has been metered. If you are pumping at the high setting, the agitated gasoline contains more vapor, which is being sucked back into the underground tank – so you're getting less gas for your money .
Hope this will help ease your 'pain at the pump' 10月6日 Quote Things u oughta know...
1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.
4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
6. Don't force an attraction.
7. Slower is better.
8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.
11. Don't settle.
12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?
14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.
16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.
18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of childrenby a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
19. You really do have to find a few frogs before finding the prince.
20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.
21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.
24. Be honest and upfront.
25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.
26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).
27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).
28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse.If he causes any of them...flee.
29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself --double-standard.
31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!
34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.
35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.
36. Actions speak louder than words.
37. Never let a man define who you are.
38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.
39. Never borrow someone else's man.
40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.
42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.
43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life.
44. Love is a verb ...love the feeling is the result of the love verb!!
45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable -available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.
46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
10月5日
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Bird Feeder: A funny parallel...
I bought a bird feeder and hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed.
Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous
flow of free and easily accessible food.
But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above
the table, and next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the
table.....literally everywhere.
Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive bomb me and try to
peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.
And others birds were boisterous and loud:
They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and
the night....demanding that I fill it when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore.
So, I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone.
I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...... quiet, serene and no one demanding their
rights to a free meal.
Now lets see....... our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.
Then came the illegals.....first by the hundreds....then by the thousands, then by the tens of thousands.
Then, suddenly, our taxes went up to pay for the free services; small apartments are housing five families: you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English: Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than "Old Glory" are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and more free liberties.
Maybe it is time for our government to take down the bird feeder.
If you agree, pass this on.........
AUTHOR UNKNOWN | 10月4日 Quote Veteran Removes Illegal Mexican Flag, May Be Charged.
A Veteran from Reno, Nev. has hit headlines after he took matters into his own hands yesterday and tore down a Mexican flag that was being illegally flown above a U.S. flag at a local business. Local news station krnv News 4 had received calls yesterday afternoon from angry residents complaining about the Mexican flag. When the station sent a reporter to investigate the Veteran took the opportunity to make a statement in front of the cameras. The man commented "I'm Jim Brossert and I took this flag down in honor of my country with a knife from the United States army. I'm a veteran, I am not going to see this done to my country. if they want to fight us, then they need to be men, and they need to come and fight us, but I want somebody to fight me for this flag. They're not going to get it back." 
The hispanic store owner who witnessed the incident would not make comment on camera but told krnv over the phone that he was flying the flag as a mark of solidarity to the hispanic community. Pro-immigration protests have been ongoing in the area all weekend after raids were conducted by authorities in the area last week. The store owner said he is an American citizen and did not know what he was doing was against the law. However, according to federal law it is illegal to fly any flag above the U.S. flag, and if flying more than one they must be on separate poles and be of an equal size. The Reno police department has told krnv that Brossert will faces charges for theft if the store owner files a police report of what happened. Similar incidents have previously been reported in Maywood, CA., Tucson, Arizona, and Jupiter, Florida. 10月3日
CHILI COOK-OFF
If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for
you. I was crying by the end. This is a so called actual account as relayed
to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. Read it all. Do not skip any
sections. Do not skip ahead.
Pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is
even better.
Note: For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
They actually have a Chili Cook-off around Halloween. It takes up a major
portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.
CHILI, TEXAS STYLE !!!
Note from Frank: "Recently, while visiting Texas (I'm from Springfield, IL)
I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original
judge called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there
at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light beer booth,
when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native
Texans) that even though I was inexperienced as a Chili taster, the chili
wouldn't be all that spicy. Besides, they told me, I could have free beer
during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3."
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank from IL) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You
could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm
supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to
give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw
the look on my face.
CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like
I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more
beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in
the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.
CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to
taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was
standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to
look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an
aphrodisiac?
CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit
the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can
no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili
had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring
beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.
It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Screw them.
CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices
and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will
eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that
Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili
peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about
judge number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like
it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid
unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At
least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop
breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If
I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold
but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed
out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if
he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really
hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report
10月2日 The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City ,
where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value
of the product increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may
choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good
Looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking
and Help With Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
And so she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help
with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on to the sixth floor and the
sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men
on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible
to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner also opened a New
Wives Store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that have money .
The second floor has wives that have money and love sex .
The third through sixth floors have never been visited.
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