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1月31日
VERY GOOD ADVICE FOR ALL OF US
I thought these were pretty informative - ya never know!
Very helpful - Attorney's Advice - NO CHARGE
Read this and make a copy for your files in case you need to refer to it someday. Maybe we should all take some of his advice!
A corporate Attorney sent the following out to the employees in his company.
1. Do not sign the back of your credit cards.
Instead, put "PHOTO ID REQUIRED."
2. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card Accounts, "DO NOT" put the complete account number on the "For" line.
Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it.
3. Put your Work Phone # on your checks instead of your Home Phone.
If you have a P O Box use that instead of your Home Address. If you do not have a P O Box, use your Work Address.
Never have your SS # printed on your checks.
You can add it if it is necessary. I don' think this would ever be necessary- I would never do it. Why? If you have it printed, anyone can get it and use it.
4. Duplicate the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine. Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc.
You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel.
Keep the photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a Photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or abroad.
We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a Name, Address, Social Security Number, or Credit Cards.
Unfortunately, I, an attorney, have firsthand knowledge because my wallet was stolen recently.
Within a week, the thieve(S) ordered a monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway Computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more.
But, here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know:
5. We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know how to call.
Keep those where you can find them.
6. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc., were stolen.
This proves to Credit Providers you were diligent, and this is the first step toward an Investigation (if there ever is one ever done) But here's what is perhaps most important of all:
(I never even thought to do this.)
7. Call the 3 national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name. Also, call the Social Security Fraud line number. I had never heard of doing that until advised by my bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name.
The alert means any company that checks your Credit knows your information was stolen, and they have to contact you by Phone to authorize new credit.
By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done.
There are records of all the Credit Checks initiated by the thieve(S) purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert.
Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieve(S) threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them dead in their tracks.
Now, here are the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet or purse, etc., having been stolen: (make all four calls)
1.) Equifax: 800-525-6285
2.) Experian (formerly TRW): 888-397-3742
3.) Trans Union : 800-680-7289
4.) Social Security Administration (fraud line): 800-269-0271
We pass along jokes on the Internet.
We pass along just about everything.
If you are willing to pass this information along,
it could possibly help someone that know and care about...
So, go ahead. it sure can't hurt, can it?
1月30日 Taser Story
This is one of those stories where you begin to chuckle....then find yourself laughing out loud.
Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this.
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for
a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were
supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??
'WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.
I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the
button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I
really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second)
and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did
want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading
glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms
and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of
water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.? ? All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring
about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself,
"no possible way!"
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...? ? I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one
side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one- second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided
to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . .
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner , then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and
over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to
be found, wi th my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?
The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again,
stupid, do it again!"
Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you
zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.
A three-second burst would be considered conservative?
SON-OF-A-... That hurt like **% !!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits
(what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up
there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed
88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles! I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!! Still in shock!
P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
"If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid." 1月29日
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says
"Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.
Again, the trucker lowers the window.
As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly,
"Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window.
Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde.
He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...
"Hi, my name is Kevin,
it's winter in West Virginia and I'm driving the
SALT TRUCK!" 1月26日
Subject: The South
You can say what you want to about the South.....
A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Mississippi recently with
two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'
'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses.
You must understand, these here are my pet fish.'
'Pet fish?'
'Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim
'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here
ice chests and I take 'em home.'
'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'
The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth
Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'
'O. K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'
The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'
'Well, what?', says the redneck.
The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'
'Call who back?'
'The FISH', replied the warden!
'What fish?', replied the redneck.
Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers,
but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.
You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north.A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight
around, looking for valuables. He picked up a CD player to place in
his sack, when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark
saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear
as a bell he heard,"Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the
source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight
beam came to rest on a parrot.
"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you
that he's watching you"
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a
bird Moses?"
"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus." 1月25日
Recently, while going through an airport during one of his many trips,
President Bush encountered a man with long gray hair and beard, wearing
a white robe and sandals, holding a staff.
President Bush went up to the man and said, 'Has anyone told you that
you look like Moses?'
The man didn't answer. He just kept staring straight ahead.
The president said, 'Moses!' in a loud voice.
The man just stared ahead, never acknowledging the president.
The president pulled a Secret Service agent aside and, pointing to the
robed man, asked him, 'Am I crazy or does that man not look like Moses
to you?'
The Secret Service agent looked at the man and agreed.
'Well,' said the president, 'every time I say his name, he ignores me
and stares straight ahead, refusing to speak.. Watch!'
Again the president yelled, 'Moses!' and again the man ignored him.
The Secret Service agent went up to the man in the white robe and
whispered, 'You look just like Moses. I would like to know, are you
Moses?'
The man leaned over and whispered back, 'Shhhh! Yes, I am Moses but the last time I talked to a bush, I spent 40 years wandering in the desert and ended up leading my people to the only spot in the entire Middle East with NO oil!' 1月24日
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What are you to do if you have a heart attack while you are alone.
If you've already received this, it means people care about you ...
The Johnson City Medical Center staff actually discovered this
and did an in-depth study on it in our ICU The two individuals that
discovered this then did an article on it .. had it published and have even had it incorporated into ACLS and CPR classes.
It is very true and has and does work. It is called cough CPR. A cardiologist says it's the truth ... For your info ...If everyone who gets this sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we'll
save at least one life.
Read This...It could save your life! Let's say it's 6:15 p.m. and you're driving home (alone of course), after an usually hard day on the job You're really tired, upset and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to radiate out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far.
What can you do? You've been trained in CPR but the guy that taught the course, didn't tell you what to do if it happened to yourself.
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, this article seemed to be in order. Without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough mus t be repeated about very two seconds without let up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating
normally again. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, hear t attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as many other people as possible about this, it could save their lives!
From Health Cares, Rochester General Hospital via Chapter 240s newsletter 'AND THE BEAT GOES ON '
(reprint from The Mended Hearts, Inc. publication, Heart Response)
BE A FRIEND AND PLEASE SEND THIS ARTICLE
TO AS MANY FRIENDS AS POSSIBLE |
"ASCRIBE TO THE LORD THE GLORY OF HIS NAME; BRING AN OFFERING, AN COME INTO HIS COURTS, WORSHIP THE LORD IN HOLY ATTIRE; TREMBLE BEFORE HIM, ALL THE EARTH."
Wit and Wisdom from Military Manuals
'If the Enemy is in range, so are you.'
- Infantry Journal
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'It is generally inadvisable to eject over the area you just bombed'
- U.S. Air Force Manual
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'Aim towards the Enemy'
- Instructions printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher
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'When the pin is pulled, Mr.Grenade is not your friend.'
- U.S. Marine Corps
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'Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate.
The bombs are guaranteed always to hit the ground.'
- USAF Ammo Troop
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'Whoever said the pen is mightier then the sword
obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'
- General MacArthur
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'Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.'
- Infantry Journal
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'You, you, and you. Panic. The rest of you come with me.'
- U.S. Marine Gunnery Sgt. (Mgysgt5)
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'Tracers work both ways.'
- U.S. Army Ordnance
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'Five second fuses only last three seconds'
- Infantry Journal
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'Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last,
and don't ever volunteer to do anything.'
- U.S. Navy Swabbie
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'Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.'
- David Hackworth
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'If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush.'
- Infantry Journal
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'No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.'
- Joe Gay
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'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'
- unknown
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'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.'
- Unknown Marine Recruit
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'Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.'
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'If you see a bomb technician running, follow him.'
- USAF Ammo Troop
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'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'
- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
Fighter Pilot
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'Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes
in the ocean than submarines in the sky.'
- >From an old carrier sailor
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'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore,unsafe.'
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'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough
power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
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'Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.'
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'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a
pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up.... The pilot dies.'
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'Never trade luck for skill.'
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The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:
'Why is it doing that?', 'Where are we?' And 'Oh S...!'
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'Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.'
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'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to complete the flight
successfully.'
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'Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!'
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'Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag to store dead
batteries.'
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'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person
on the ground who is incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.'
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'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world;
it can just barely kill you.'
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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'A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying
his plane to its maximum.'
- Jon McBride, astronaut
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'If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing
as far into the crash as possible.'
- Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot )
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'A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least
expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit.'
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
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'Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.'
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'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'
- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
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'If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.'
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Basic Flying Rules: 'Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near
the edges of it.The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of
ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more
difficult to fly there.'
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'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power
to taxi to the terminal.'
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off
the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the
rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, 'What happened?'.
The pilot's reply, 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'
- Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
1月23日
Judy Wallman, a genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription:
'Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped
1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.'
Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton, asking for comments.
Hillary's staff of image adjusters sent back the following biographical sketch:
'Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during a civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.'
And THAT is how it's done folks!
Dear Abby,
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from
the beginning and when I confront him he denies everything. What's
worse is that everyone knows that he cheats on me! It is so humiliating!
Also, since he lost his job six years ago he hasn't even looked for a
New one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot
the bull with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since
our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and even hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do? Signed: Clueless
Dear Clueless:
Grow up and dump him! Good grief woman you don't need him anymore! You're a Senator from New York running for President of the United States - act like one!
NOTE TO ALL: NOTHING AGAINST HILLARY, I THINK SHE IS A FINE SENATOR IN NEW YORK AND WISH HER WELL IN HER CAMPAIGN IN BECOMING PRESIDENT. AS ALWAYS, POLITICIANS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE IN THE LIMELIGHT AND SHE IS NO DIFFERENT. THESE WERE EMAILS SENT TO ME.
"EVERYONE WHO COMES TO ME,AND HEARS MY WORDS, AND ACTS UPON THEM, I WILL SHOW YOU WHOM HE IS LIKE: HE IS LIKE A MAN BUILDING A HOUSE, WHO DUG DEEP AND LAID A FOUNDATION UPON THE ROCK; AND WHEN A FLOOD ROSE, THE TORENT BURST AGAINST THAT HOUSE AND COULD NOT SHAKE IT, BECAUSE IT HAD BEEN WELL BUILT."
1月22日
IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in ch ange.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
>From Kingman , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport emplo yee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight o n the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door h andle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it ' s open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and they REPRODUCe.....and many we elect as our leaders in the White House and Congress.
What kind of idiot does that make us. 1月21日 Sex against the fence
Sex against a fence the husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you
remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We
went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and
I made love to you.'
'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'
'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can
do it for old time's sake?' 'Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds
like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and,
having a chuckle to himself, he
Thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex
against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So
he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for
support aided by walking sticks.
Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the
fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they
erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This
goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and
moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the
ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life
and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old
couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly
amazing. I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was
something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there
some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that
wasn't an electric fence.' 1月20日 I KNOW ITS LONG PLEASE READ!! & DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW
MANY MUSLIMS ARE IN THE US?!!!
Man this is not good..........
CAN MUSLIMS BE GOOD AMERICANS?
This is very interesting! We all need to read it
from start to finish......... and send it on to anyone who will read it.
Maybe this is why our American Muslims are so quiet and not speaking out about any atrocities.
Can a good Muslim be a good American?
This question was forwarded to a friend who worked in Saudi Arabia for 20 years.
The following is his reply:
Theologically - no. . . . Because his allegiance is to Allah, The moon God of Arabia.
Religiously - no. . . . Because no other religion is accepted by His
Allah except Islam (Quran, 2:256) (Koran).
Scripturally - no. . . . Because his allegiance is to the five Pillars
of Islam and the Quran.
Geographically - no. . . . Because his allegiance is to Mecca , to
which he turns in prayer five times a day.
Socially - no. . . . Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him to
make friends with Christians or Jews.
Politically - no. . . . Because he must submit to
the mullahs (spiritual leaders), who teach annihilation of Israel and destruction
of America, the great Satan.
Domestically - no. . . . Because he is instructed to marry four women
and beat and scourge his wife when she disobeys him (Quran 4:34).
Intellectually - no. . . . Because he cannot accept the American
Constitution since it is based on Biblical principles, and he believes
the Bible to be corrupt.
Philosophically - no. . . . Because Islam, Muhammad, and the Quran do
not allow freedom of religion and expression.
Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist. Every Muslim government is either
dictatorial or autocratic.
Spiritually - no. . . . Because when we declare "one nation under God,"
the Christian's God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred
to as Heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in The Quran's 99
excellent names.
Therefore after much study and deliberation, perhaps we
should be very suspicious of ALL MUSLIMS in this country.
They obviously cannot be both "good" Muslims and good Americans.
* * * Call it what you wish; it's still the truth.
* * * You had better believe it.
* * * The more who understand this, the better it will be for our country and our future. The religious war is
bigger than we know or understand.
THE ABOVE IS JUST A COMPARISON OF THE TEACHINGS. CAN MUSLIMS BE GOOD AMERICANS COMES TO A POINT OF HOW MUCH FREEDOM THEY BELIEVE IN. JUST LIKE THE BIBLE, MANY MUSLIMS MISSINTERPET THE KORAN, AND THAT LEADS TO THE MUSLIM KILLING THE MUSLIM. JUST AS CHRISTIANS, WE BELIEVE "THOU SHALL NOT KILL," WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY MURDERS IN OUR COUNTRY...ENENTUALLY A MAJOR WAR WILL COME ABOUT BECAUSE OF RELIGION, JUST WHEN WILL THE KILLING STOP WILL BE THE MAJOR ANSWER. RELIGION AS A GOVERNMENT DOES NOT WORK UNLESS THE PEOPLE GIVE UP THEIR FREEDOMS AND THEN CIVIL WAR WILL BREAK OUT BECAUSE OF BELIEVES OF MAN IS CREATED EQUAL....RALPH
"DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT YOU ARE A TEMPLE OF GOD AND (THAT) THE SPIRIT OF GOD DWELLS IN YOU?"
1月19日
Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.
Notice Posted in a State Park:
Bear Warning
This park is inhabited by brown bears. Hikers are advised to tie small bells to their boots and carry pepper spray.
Further, hikers are advised to be alert for bear tracks and bear scat. Immature bear scat may be distinquished by the presence of fruit seed and vegtable matter. Adult bear scat contains small bells and smells like pepper.
A Republican cowboy from Texas attends a social function where Hillary Clinton is attending and trying gather more support for her nomination. Once she discovers the cowboy is a Republican, she starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words. As she was doing that, she kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around her head.
The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them "circle flies?"
She stopped talking and said, "Well yes, if that's what they're called. But I've never heard of "circle flies."
"Well ma'am," the cowboy replies, "circle flies" hang around ranches. They're called "circle flies" because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
"Oh," Hillary replies as she goes back to rambling. But, a moment later she stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?"
"No, ma'am," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for citizens of New York to call their Senator a horse's ass."
"That's a good thing," she responds and begins rambling on once more.
After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
There is a medical distinction.
We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: You're next, fatty.'
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.
A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Prescott , Az. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chilli.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in > his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, you go ahead."
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chilli.
The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chilli into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too." 1月18日
THIS IS LONG, BUT IT IS WELL WORTH IT!!!
Science vs God
The first day of class started, and the atheist professor wanted to make his first point, and let his students know where he stood. "Let me explain the problem science has with Jesus Christ." The professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.
"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
"Yes sir," the student says.
"So you believe in God?"
"Absolutely."
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"
"Yes."
"Are you good or evil?"
"The Bible says I'm evil."
The professor grins knowingly. "Ahhh, The Bible! He considers for a moment....
"Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?"
"Yes sir, I would."
"So you're good!"
"I wouldn't say that."
"But why not say that? You'd helped a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't."
The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"
The student remains silent.
"No you can't, can you?" The professor takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the stu dent time to relax.
"Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good?"
"Er...yes," the student says.
"Is Satan good?"
The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No."
"Then where does Satan come from?"
The student: "From...God...."
"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in the world?"
"Yes sir.""Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?"
"Yes."
"So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created everything, then God created evil. Since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil."
Without allowing the student to answer, the professor continues: "Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in the world?"
The student: "Yes."
"So who created them?"
The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats the q uestion. "Who created them?"
There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized.
The professor goes to another student.
"Tell me, do you believe in Jesus Christ?"
The student's voice in confident. "Yes, professor, I do."
The old man stops pacing. "science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you; seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, and smelling. Have you seen Jesus?"
"No sir, I have never seen Him."
"Have you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus, or smelled your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?"
"No sir, I'm afraid I haven't."
"Yet you still believe in him?"
"Yes."
"According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?"
"Nothing," the student replies, "I only have my faith."
"Ahh yes, 'faith'", the professor repeats.&nb sp; "And that's the problem science has with God: There is no evidence, only faith."
The student stands silently for a moment, before asking a question of his own. "Professor, is there such a thing as heat?"
"yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."
"And is there such a thing as cold?"
"Yes, son, there is cold as well."
"No sir, there isn't."
The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain:
< B>"You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, little or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, 'cold' is just a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We can not measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."
The room, and the professor, remain silent.
"Wh at about darkness, professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?"
"Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if it isn't darkness?"
"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it's the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing, and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you'd be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?"
The professor begins to smile. This will be a good semester. "So what point are you making, young man?"
"My point is, professor, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed."
The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed? Can you explain how?"
"You are working off the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there is death; a good God, and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never been seen, much less fully understood with either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, professor, do you teach your students that we evolved from a monkey?"
"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course I do."
Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"
The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester indeed!
Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist, but a preacher?"
The class is in an uproar, and the student waits until the commotion has subsided.
To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean."
The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The room breaks out in laughter.
"Is there anyone here who as ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelled the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, with all due respect, sir, science says that you have no brain. So if science says you have no brai n, how can we trust your lectures?"
The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unreadable. Finally he says, "I guess they'll have to take them on faith."
"Now," says the student, "you accept that there is faith, and in fact, that faith exists in life. Is there a thing called evil?"
Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course there is evil. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."
To this the student replies, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not ex ist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness or cold, a word developed to describe the absence of God.
God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light."
The professor sat down.
Pass this on if you have faith, and love Jesus.
Amen to that!
"LET YOUR CHARACTER BE FREE FROM THE LOVE OF MONEY, BEING CONTENT WITH WHAT YOU HAVE; FOR HE HIMSELF HAS SAID, 'I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WLL I EVER FORSAKE YOU.'"
1月17日 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.
8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty
A husband and wife went in for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."
"THIS IS THE DAY WHICH THE LORD HAS MADE; LET US REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT." 1月16日 Is Habla
TAKE A FEW MOMENTS AND READ THIS LETTER. THESE ARE
STRONG, POWERFUL AND
COURAGEOUS WORDS COMING FROM A RETIRED COLONEL.
AND READ WHAT LINCOLN HAD TO SAY AT THE END.
WOW!
33 Senators Voted Against English as America's
Official Language on June 6, 2007. On Wed. 6 June
2007 23:35:23 - 0500 Colonel Harry Riley, USA, Ret.
Wrote:
Senators:
Your vote against an amendment to the immigration
Bill 1348......to make English America's officia l
language is astounding. On D-Day, no less, when we
honor those that sacrificed in order to secure the
bedrock, character and principles of America, I can
only surmise your vote reflects a loyalty to illegal
aliens. I don't much care where you come from.
What your religion is. Whether you're black, white,
or some other color
......male or female......Democrat,
Republican or Independent....... But I do care when
you are a United States Senator representing
Citizens of America....and
Vote against English as the official language of the
United States.
Your vote reflects Betrayal. Political Surrender.
Violates Your Pledge of Allegiance. Dishonors
historical principle. Rejects Patriotism. Borders
On traitorous action and, in my opinion, makes you
unfit to serve as a United States
Senator...impeachment... Recall........Or other
appropriate action is warranted or worse.
Four of you voting against English as America's
Official Language are Presidential Candidates:
Senator Biden, Senator Clinton, Senator Dodd and
Senator Obama.
Four Senators vying to lead America, but won't
or
Don't have the courage to cast a vote in favor of
"English" as America's Official Language when 91%
of American Citizens want English officially
designated as our language.
This is the second time in the last several
months this list of Senators have disgraced
themselves as "policital
Hacks"...... Unworthy as Senators and certainly
unqualified to serve as President of the United
States.
If America is as angry as I am, you will
realize a backlash so stunning it will literally
"rock you out of your panties"......... And
preferably totally out of the United States Senate.
The entire immigration bill is a farce... Your
action only confirms this really isn't about
America.....it is about self-serving
politics......despicable at best. It has been said:
"Never Argue with an Idiot....They'll drag you down
to their level!"
The following Senators voted against making English
the official language
Of America:
Akaka (D-HI)
Bayh (D-IN)
Biden (D-DE) (Wants to be President)
Bingaman (D-NM)
Boxer (D-CA)
Cantwell (D-WA)
Clinton (D-NY) (Wants to be President)
Dayton (D-MN)
Dodd (D- MN) wants to be president
Domenici (R-NM) coward. Protecting his senate seat
Durbin (D-IL)
Feingold (D-win) - not unusual for him
Feinstein (D-ca)
Harkin (D-IA)
Inouye (D-hi)
Jeffords (I-VT)
Kennedy - (D-ma)
Kerry (D-ma) (tried to be president)
Kohl (D-WI))
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Leahy (D-VT)
Levin (D-MI)
Lieberman (I-CT) Disappointment here.....
Menendez (D-NJ)
Mikulski (D-MD)
Murray (D-WA)
Obama (D-IL) (Wants to be President)
Reed (D-RI)
Reid (D-NV) Senate Majority Leader
As Lazar (D-CO)
Sarbanes (D-MD)
Schumer (D-NY)
Stabenow (D-M
PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN
"Congressmen who willfully take actions during
wartime that damage morale and undermine the
military are saboteurs and should be arrested,
exiled or Hanged!!! 1月15日
I especially like the last one!!
We've waited so long. . .!
Stupid is as stupid does - The 2007 Darwin Awards
It's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here is the glorious
winner:
1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended
victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber
James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered
down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the Honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-
cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a
claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent
out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine
and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from
serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how
he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
trying to see how close he could get his head to a mov ing train
before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register,
which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the
clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount
of cash he got from the drawer ... $15. (If someone points a gun at
you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it
over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit
the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor
store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the
snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They
put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then
taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To
which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole
the purse from.'
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. (*A 5- STAR STUPIDITY
AWARD WINNER)
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.
Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to
a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the
man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose
into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the
vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh
he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your
friends and family ... unless of course one of these individuals by
chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be
glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
Remember .... they walk among us! *** 1月14日
Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler
December 8, 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So
romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic
sight! Can there be a more lovely place in
the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've
ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a
boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered
up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got
to shovel again. What a perfect life!
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry-
we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on
Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much
snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such
a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The
temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed
up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and
buried everything again. I didn't
realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling,
but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish
I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2
extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants
a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think
that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in
the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The
wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very
cruel.
December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to
pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but
stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to
her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe
I'm freezing to death in my own livingroom.
December 20
Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of
the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all
day. The damn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said
they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're
lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about
buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob
says I have to shovel or the city will have it done
and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold,
it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes
to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I
had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and
dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to
hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of
the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the
asshole is lying.
December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house
this morning. What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She
says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke
the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I
ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow
plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and
beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he
hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just
been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
carols with her and open our presents, but I was too
busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25
Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn
slop tonight - Snowed in
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate
the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife
says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking
idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one
more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It
was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze;
plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he
only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is
driving me crazy!!!
December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever
heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now
he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the
beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the
broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to
her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.
December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.
January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills
they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
1月13日
Hello All,
I am sure you have heard about the young mexican girl from roswell high that got deported, it has become quite and issue here.
These are a few emails that Katrina responded to about this, it really upset her, the letter on the bottom of the page is the first one and it was written by a school board member here,
and the next one is from Katrina's Husbands, boss, that he sent to her, then her reply, I guess that they got into a pretty good argument over this, but the guy is being a really big jerk about calling people racist and such, and there is quite an issue about illegals not paying taxes and such, it really upsets me also, I don't think they should get a free ride in this country either, any way I just thought you might be interested in hearing some of this. I am proud of my daughter for taking a stand on something she believes in.
Take care all
Love ya
Vanessa
katrina renteria <kjgurrola@yahoo.com> wrote:
Date: Mon, 17 Dec 2007 09:06:19 -0800 (PST)
From: katrina renteria <kjgurrola@yahoo.com>
Subject: Fw: School board meeting
To: Mom York <lilalienmama@yahoo.com>, Dad <lendonyork@cableone.net>
My comments are in red, his are in black
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: katrina renteria <kjgurrola@yahoo.com>
To: george peterson <georgelocal51@yahoo.com>
Sent: Monday, December 17, 2007 10:02:25 AM
Subject: Re: School board meeting
please read below, my comments are in red. next to your responses.
----- Original Message ----
From: george peterson <georgelocal51@yahoo.com>
To: katrina renteria <kjgurrola@yahoo.com>
Sent: Friday, December 14, 2007 4:31:05 PM
Subject: Re: School board meeting
thanks for the reply,
They do pay taxes. Every time they put gas in thier car or buy something, they pay taxes. They also pay taxes on thier property. They may not pay social security or some payroll taxes. But those are not used for a school.yes the do pay taxes but they do not pay payroll taxes which pays for their medical care, because they can not get it legally, for there reitrement that they recieve, that I wont recieve because it is going to people who did not even put into it. for them to get HUD and food stamps and cash assistance and then the people who are here legally can not get these services if they needed them. and property taxes how do they buy property if they are illegal? I am not against immigration, I am only against it when they do it illigally.If they want to come to the united states then come here legally, the rest of the world doess. If we send them back, who will be working? the people who can not get a good job will be, because they are all taken up by ILLEGAL immigrants.and those employeers who hire them like that because they dont have to pay taxes on them, or workers comp, or medical.Chaves county is dependant on agriculture for its economy. I understand this but what are our unemployement rates?We would have a economic depression here that would be devastating to Roswell.I dont believe we would.You have to look at the law. Its not up to a RPD officer to enforce federal law. Look it up, municipal officers do not have jurisdiction to enforce federal law. Its up to the federal government, the white house, the border patrol to enforce federal law. From what I understand is that the city police called INS which then deported her. Who said we didnt suport law enforcement? I never said that. you did, this whole thing does not support our law enforcement wether local or federal. There are alot of mis-conceptions about whats going on.
All I know is the racist cops are using this to profile Mexicans, which is illigal.that is illegal and wrong, but I dont think that is the case here. I believe the officer was only harrassing Mexican students. So thats why I am mad. He harrassed her for what? Because he wanted her to show him her paperwork? Because she did not have a drivers licenese? So lets over look the laws she broke? and look at a cop who was trying to give her a break and gave her a few days to produce paperwork...IF she would have been here legally and had a drivers licenese then this would not be an issue.
I dont care about if she was here illigaly or not, I dont want my children being asked all sorts of questions relating to legal staus or not. I dont either and I dont support that. but that is not what happened.Im sure you have never been profiled. you just did, and as a matter of fact I have been numerous times.
I have and its not a very nice feeling. as you know my husband is hispanic and so are my children and I pray they never get profiled or have to live with prejudice, but it small minded people who keep that around. maybe you should open your mind!
Im sorry you were offened by the Republican remark, but most Republicans are racist. that is profiling! so you are telling me that only white people as racist? that is bullcrap, I know and have known hispanics, blacks, asians, who are racist.so please stop with the racism. Democrats can be racist and so can independants, I am Independant.I know because I was involved with them in Roswell for a number of years. I have first hand knowledge of this. but you dont have first hand knowledge that not only WHITES are racist? you have never seen a black be racist? I have!
Dont let your emotions confuse the issue. Think about it logicly.my emotions are not writing this email, my logics are! the difference is I have an open mind and I feel very passionate about these issues.
By the way it is a Federal law for us not to ask students if they are legal or not. thats fine let them get a free education, but let there parents pay all of the taxes that I pay. and pay for there own medical care. I am tired of paying for it.
katrina renteria <kjgurrola@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hello George,
I am James' wife, and I am quite offended by some of your statements below, I am not racist one bit, but I do not beleive in supporting immigrants who are here illegally, I believe that if they come here and work for a living and take care of there families that is great but it really irrates me when illegal immigrants come here and live off of our taxes! Working americans work very hard for every dollar that we make and they should too!! I dont know all the circumstances of this family that is being deported but I completely agree with what Dr. Wenner had to say below. If they want to come here then they should do it legally, and work for a living just like every other american wether they be white, black, hispanic, chinese, thai....it does not matter they should be here legally.
And another thing I dont agree with is that you are bashing our law enforcement. Well we expect them to do there jobs when it comes to a druggie, or rapist wouldn't we? So why pick and choose? That is not the way it works, you have policies and procedures you have to follow everything else, all other laws, but not this one? Why is that? We would want them to enforce this law if it was a illegal immigrant that is correct? You cant pick and choose which policies you follow right? Well neither can they and I would not want them too!
----- Original Message ----
From: george peterson <georgelocal51@yahoo.com>
To: alfdom@yahoo.com; artiem628@aol.com; b_aguilera79@yahoo.com; director@roswellhispanochamberofcommerce.com; elouiseortega@yahoo.com; James Gurrola <kjgurrola@yahoo.com>; michael_a_trujillo@msn.com; minnierae2002@yahoo.com; Pablo <pblmrtnz538@msn.com>; pisana@pvtnetworks.net; Albertina Silva <silvaa@dexterdemons.org>; steph <liconnm@yahoo.com>; traftery@bulldogs.org
Sent: Monday, December 10, 2007 11:08:15 PM
Subject: School board meeting
Dear friends,
We may have a ugly fight tomorrow at the school board meeting, over the deportation of the RHS student. We have told the police they are not welcome in the schools anymore and there are some in the comunity that want them in, to racially profile our children to see if they are illiegal to send them back to Mexico.
They did this back in the 20s, 30s and 40s, the law enforcement was sending any Mexican back to Mexico they could illigal or not.
This is just another attempt by racist Republicans to hound the Mexican people. Please show up and suport Mike Gottlieb, our superintendent of the Roswell Schools and your board members.
Thanks
George Peterson
December 10, 2007
Dear Roswell Independent School Board members and Superintendent, Mike Gottlieb,
The Sunday newspaper article about Karina Acosta¢s deportation prompted us to contact you to hopefully inspire you to support the police department and INS regarding this implementation of our Border Patrol responsibility. It is a sad situation for Karina no doubt. However, it is a situation of her own making and that of her family. We do not know Karina personally, so that may make us more objective. The situation requires objectivity. Karina broke our laws and got caught. Is it not the responsibility of our parents, our schools, and then finally our law enforcement to teach cause and effect, consequences for our actions? First of all, Karina was here illegally. Second of all she was driving without a license. Did she have insurance? What if someone had an auto accident with her? Third of all, she is pregnant and probably planning to have the child delivered by our doctors and hospitals. That results in another anchor baby, further cementing Karina¢s illegal residence in our country. All these things result in expenses that our legal residents have to support. The polls from the presidential races highlight the fact that US citizens want better enforcement of our laws regarding immigration. Both major political parties have been surprised by the intensity of this desire among their members.
The economy of Roswell is supported heavily by FLETC and ILEA. If we cannot support our Border Patrol agents and law enforcement with regard to illegal immigration policies, who can? Do not the children of these dedicated professionals deserve to hear their parent¢s work applauded and respected? In this case, the system worked as it was supposed to. All the law enforcement departments worked together. In order to secure our borders, these are the hard but necessary actions which must be taken. Please do not be swayed by the heart-wrenching consequences of illegal immigrants¢ own actions. If we let individual cases go without punishment, it only encourages others considering illegal entry into our country to prey on our lack of commitment and kind-heartedness. We support our law enforcement officials who did the right thing despite the difficulty of the situation. Please re-instate the RSO system. The police department should be appreciated for a job well done!
Sincerely,
Donald and Laurie Wenner
3600 Kessler Place
Roswell, NM 88201
THIS WAS EMAIL TO ME AND WAS IN THE NEWS IN OUR AREA. THERE WAS A DEMOSTRATION FOR DEPORTING THIS STUDENT. I WILL LET YOU CONCLUDE WHAT IS RIGHT OR WRONG WITH THIS SITUATION. 1月12日 Below is an article written by Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated. He details his experiences when given the opportunity to fly in a F-14 Tomcat. You should be laughing out loud by the time you get to 'Milk Duds' or your sense of humor is seriously broken.
Someday you may be invited to fly in the back-seat of one of your country's most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have . John Elway, John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get this opportunity, let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity... Move to Guam .
Change your name.
Fake your own death!
Whatever you do.
Do Not Go!!!
I know.
The U.S. Navy invited me to try it. I was thrilled. I was pumped. I was toast! I should've known when they told me my pilot would be Chip (Biff) King of Fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach.
Whatever you're thinking a Top Gun named Chip (Biff) King looks like, triple it. He's about six-foot, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer hair, finger-crippling handshake -- the kind of man who wrestles dyspeptic alligators in his leisure time. If you see this man, run the other way. Fast.
Biff King was born to fly. His father, Jack King, was for years the voice of NASA missions. ('T-minus 15 seconds and counting .' Remember?) Chip would charge neighborhood kids a quarter each to hear his dad. Jack would wake up from naps surrounded by nine-year-olds waiting for him to say, 'We have liftoff'.
Biff was to fly me in an F- 14D Tomcat, a ridiculously powerful $60 million weapon with nearly as much thrust as weight, not unlike Colin Montgomerie. I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the flight I asked Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning.
'Bananas,' he said.
'For the potassium?' I asked.
'No,' Biff said, 'because they taste about the same coming up as they do going down.'
The next morning, out on the tarmac, I had on my flight suit with my name sewn over the left breast. (No call sign -- like Crash or Sticky or Leadfoot. But, still, very cool.) I carried my helmet in the crook of my arm, as Biff had instructed. If ever in my life I had a chance to nail Nicole Kidman, this was it.
A fighter pilot named Psycho gave me a safety briefing and then fastened me into my ejection seat, which, when employed, would 'egress' me out of the plane at such a velocity that I would be immediately knocked unconscious.
Just as I was thinking about aborting the flight, the canopy closed over me, and Biff gave the ground crew a thumbs-up. In minutes we were firing nose up at 600 mph. We leveled out and then canopy-rolled over another F-14.
Those 20 minutes were the rush of my life. Unfortunately, the ride lasted 80.. It was like being on the roller coaster at Six Flags Over Hell. Only without rails. We did barrel rolls, snap rolls, loops, yanks and banks. We dived, rose and dived again, sometimes with a vertical velocity of 10,000 feet per minute. We chased another F-14, and it chased us.
We broke the speed of sound. Sea was sky and sky was sea. Flying at 200 feet we did 90-degree turns at 550 mph, creating a G force of 6.5, which is to say I felt as if 6.5 times my body weight was smashing against me, thereby approximating life as Mrs. Colin Montgomerie.
And I egressed the bananas.
And I egressed the pizza from the night before.
And the lunch before that.
I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade.
I made Linda Blair look polite!
Because of the G's, I was egressing stuff that never thought would be egressed.
I went through not one airsick bag, but two.
Biff said I passed out. Twice. I was coated in sweat. At one point, as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock bombing target and the G's were flattening me like a tortilla and I was in and out of consciousness, I realized I was the first person in history to throw down.
I used to know 'cool'. Cool was Elway throwing a touchdown pass, or Norman making a five-iron bite. But now I really know 'cool'. Cool is guys like Biff, men with cast-iron stomachs and freon nerves. I wouldn't go up there again for Derek Jeter's black book, but I'm glad Biff does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home stand.
A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called. He said he and the fighters had the perfect call sign for me. Said he'd send it on a patch for my flight suit.
What is it?? I asked.
'Two Bags.'
I love my country!
It's the government I'm afraid of !!
God Bless America 1月11日
A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which.
A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.
The neighbor suggested she notch the ear
off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.
The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding assisted without any experience or lessons.
She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup.
She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Todd, the Wall-Mart Manager, runs out to turn the horse off.
On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she
wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her
husband, a retired military man, and asked, "Honey, do you
remember this?"
He looked up from his newspaper and said; "Yes dear, I do.
You wore that same negligee the night we were married"
She said, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said
to me that night?"
He nodded and said "Yes dear, I said; Oh baby, I'm going to
suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out."
She giggled and said; "That's exactly what you said. So now it's
fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you
have to say tonight?"
He looked her up and down and said; "Mission Accomplished."
A blonde was hauling through Oklahoma in her new Camaro (the 2009 special edition ones). Unfortunately, she was having so much fun that she failed to realize that she needed some refueling a good 20 miles back. "Putt, putt, putt" goes the Camaro and on the side of the road she goes. Sitting on the side of the road, she doesn't get a signal but see's a young, dark, and handsome Choctaw riding over the horizon on this huge Palomino. She waves him down, he stops by, and she asked if she could get a ride to the nearest pay phone to call AAA. "Why, sure ma'am, there's a gas station a good half-hour from here". "Oh my!" says the blonde, "you're so nice".
So, she hops on the horse, realizing that it ain't a Harley, she politely asked, "um...where do I hold on". The Choctaw says, "well ma'am, just hold onto the horn of the saddle". Off they go, "WOOOOOO-HOOOOOOO!!!!" yells the Choctaw. Startled, the blonde jolts, "What happened?" says the blonde. "Oh don't worry" Of they go again......"WOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO!!!!" screams the Choctaw. Again, the blonde gets startled. Well, this keeps happening a good three more times along the way, each time, the Choctaw assuring the blonde that everything was fine. They arrive to the gas station, the Choctaw gallops along leaving the blonde with a confused look. The attendant notices the look and asks, "ma'am, what seems to be the problem?" "well......that indian fella gave me a ride, and everytime I was holding on the the horn of the saddle, he kept screaming 'woo-hoo'."
The attedant falls flat on his butt laughing in agony, "Ma'am!! Choctaw ride horse bare back!!"
> Blonde's Diary
>
>
> January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight
>
> February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.
> Helllloooo!!! Bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
>
> March - Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in
> 6 months...box said
> "2-4 years!"
>
> April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!!!
>
> May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...wrong
> instructions...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
>
> June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope.
>
> July - Lost breast stroke swimming
> competition...learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used
> their arms!!!
>
> August - Got locked out of my car in rainstorm...car swamped because
> soft-top was open.
>
> September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it???
>
> October - Hate M &M's...they are so hard to peel.
>
> November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2
> days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
>
> December - Couldn't call 911...."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on
> the stupid phone!!!
>
> What a year!!
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